There is a haunting ability that you seem to possess that angers me. You linger around the corners, watching to make sure I feel uncertain of who I am...unsafe in who I am. I just want you to know that I am calling you out today. Not just for myself, but for all who are under constant subtle attack from you.
I choose today to expose your ways. You see, I learned a few years ago that you seem to be the root of a lot of issues that I have dealt with over the years. Like an enemy spy nitpicking ever so sneakily in my life, you stirred low self-esteem in me to the point that I lived for man's approval. You wore the mask of my mirror, constantly telling me that I would never be pretty enough. You wore the name of eating disorders, leading me down a road of shame with each binge...and each starvation. Enough is enough.
What brings about this fresh stand against you? Well, yesterday I felt such a calm in my spirit during a time alone with the Lord to the point that the feeling of grasping for feeling secure in who I am fled (and I had not even realized it was still there). It was like I had been on a stormy sea of uncertainty without knowing it until the waters were calmed. I had a fresh realization of the joy that it's not about who I am at all. It's about who He is, and whose I am.
Sure, it's something I have known with my mind for years, but to experience fully the rest of knowing that my place is in Him and that I don't have to bend and twist to fit into the box you would lead me into - I cannot describe the peace!
Should you dare to try and cause the waves to toss me again, remember that I know the difference now. I'm not asking you to leave, because I don't have to do so. The Lord has filled the place you thought was home, so there is no more room for you.
Secure in Christ
Father, I know that I am not the only who has battled insecurity. I ask You to set us all free with the knowledge of the Truth of Your Word. We belong to You. In Jesus' Name. Amen
Song of Solomon 2:16, 6:3