Dear Younger Me
Dear Younger Me,
As you walk down the halls at school with your head down, I see you. I understand that you don't think you're pretty enough to hold your head up and smile. You hide behind your grades, because you see that as your only worth. Little girl, I see you.
I hear you. I hear the voice within you that doesn't dare to speak aloud for fear that you will draw attention to yourself. Your opinion doesn't always seem to match the majority, so you change it to match theirs. Little girl, I hear you. I hear them laughing as you say what you want to be when you grow up, so you change your mind to live up to others' expectations rather than your own dreams.
One day you will decide that if you just lose some weight, that you will look better and deserve eyes turned your way. But, sweetheart, you will go too far. It will never be enough, and soon the thought of food will consume you. You will exercise and lift weights for about five hours a day...it will never be enough. Little girl, it will never satisfy you.
But just hold on through the battle for your identity. Hold on, because soon you will be drawn by the One you have been taught about your entire life. The void within you that could never be filled by anything else will suddenly be made whole in Him.
Little girl, I wish you could see now all that God has placed within you. One day you will. He will draw you into His Word and show you who He created you to be. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to see it for so long, but He will not waste those years. All that you are struggling with now, and the pain you will experience from your own choices and the choices of others - all of this becomes beautiful when you choose to place it in His hands. He will use it to help other little girls just like you.
So, little girl in the halls with your head down, look up...the road ahead with Him will be worth it all.
Father, it is hard to picture myself as a child with so much insecurity, struggling with fear and basement-level self-esteem. Help us to reach back to the pain of our past only to lift another out of their own. I can't go back in time to fix my life, but You can use all of the pieces to touch someone else. So I place it all in Your hands. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5