If you decide to read beyond this sentence, you will find a completely transparent moment that I pray the Lord uses to break chains off of not only me...but all who truly want them gone out of their lives.
My daughter held a mirror of sorts to my face a couple of days ago in that she relayed to me how she has seen me since her younger years: in pain. She said that ever since she can remember, it has either been my stomach, my head, or my back hurting. So of course, something else began to hurt: my heart. Not only do I not want this to be how my kids remember me, but I also don't want this to be how I live!
It's a fact that I have dealt with legitimate physical issues over the past few years. But I ask myself right now the same thing that the Lord asked the man at the pool..."Do you want to get well?" You see, I recognize that fear tends to creep up in my life and keep me from wanting to live fully. The pain often is a way of hiding from life that I am afraid to experience. Sure, it's legit...but it's become too easy of an excuse.
The man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5 had been waiting for years to get into the water when it was troubled to receive healing. I believe the Lord recognized that the man could have found a way to make it in there before that time, but was clinging to his illness. Do we cling to the limitations for a subconscious reason that we don't even want to admit to ourselves?
Well, enough is enough. Fear is getting on my nerves, and infirmity is getting on everything else. The enemy may come to steal, kill and destroy...but I choose to believe the One who came to give me abundant life. Abundance may be something I have kept at a distance out of fear for a long time, but my heart truly wants anything and everything that the Lord wants to give. I want to be free! I want to be well! Do you?
Father, I am way too accustomed to holding back...and having a legitimate reason to be able to do so. I want to be free, and I know that You can accomplish this in me. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
John 5: 1-15