I awoke this morning feeling less than 100%, and the word that kept running through my heart as I prayed was "dependent". It is when I am too weak to try and feel strong that I realize what is true every other day of the year: I am completely dependent on the Lord.
It is when our crutches are knocked out from under us that we realize what we have been leaning on the whole time. Has a gift or talent allowed us to keep going when everything else wasn't where it needed to be? Has a loved one propped us up to keep us moving forward when we would have stood still at best? Has coffee or anything like it jolted us to the place we know we are "supposed" to be, or to feel how we are "supposed" to feel?
I thank my sweet Lord for mornings like this. I truly love when I am face to face with my humanity, my fragility, my dependence. There is nothing quite so humbling as when you realize that you absolutely cannot do everything you may want to do, or that you claim you can do.
Here I am, Lord. I know that I am hopeless without You, and I know that I don't deserve the hope that You infuse me with everyday. Especially when I don't even recognize it! Thank You for helping me recognize it today. Don't let me seek independence from You, because I love needing You. In Jesus' Name. Amen.