I remember when I was a little girl entering pageants at school, getting as dressed up as I possibly could in an attempt to win the judges attention. No matter how dolled up I got—chasing beauty with all I had— there was this one girl who won every time she entered. She was that girl whom, when I saw her upon my arrival to school, my hopes were deflated. She was so beautiful and always had the best dress…leaving me with a feeling of “There is no possible way that I can ever compare.”
This may seem an odd connection to the Scripture on my heart. In reading with my kiddos last night—taking a small break from Abraham’s story—we witnessed Isaiah’s moment of truth.
He saw the Lord. And consequently, he truly saw himself.
He was given this opportunity to see the Lord God Almighty, to hear the seraphim proclaiming His holiness, and to feel the powerful response of his surroundings to God’s glory. His response is so perfect to me. “Woe is me…” He knew that he was an unholy intruder in a holy place. He knew that he was an unclean visitor witnessing pure worship. He knew that he didn’t belong. Praise God that there was a way provided for him to be purified (a painful way, but sanctification is never easy).
Now, don’t get me wrong—I am in no way comparing the “it girl” of my childhood to the Lord and His glory; I am, however, remembering the feeling of “I don’t belong here.” I am trying to make tangible the feeling of “He is God, and no matter how good I thought I was…it will never be good enough.”
Woe is me, I am undone before Him. But then, blessed am I...He made a way for me to belong.
Father, I know that the closer I get to You, the more wretched I see the person I am. I know that there is no way that I can approach You on my own. Thank You for sending Jesus, for providing the Way into Your arms…closer and closer to You. Don’t let me be content with staying as I am, but help me to allow You to purify me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.