The Trust Test
There is something so beautiful and precious about the faith of children. They just believe, they just trust. It is natural to them. God has given each of us a measure of faith, and had no one let us down along the way—perhaps we would each still have that faith we had once upon a time.
Jumping off of something into someone’s arms doesn’t cause fear…until you have been dropped. Giving your heart to someone is easy…until it has been broken. Trust becomes something that must be earned; it becomes something so fragile that if mishandled, it is difficult to gain it back completely.
Of course, here comes the transparency portion—since Sunday morning, the Lord has quietly been dealing with me about this. And maybe I’m not the only one, since this is what is pressing on me to share. The subject of “trust” came up in Sunday School (if you don’t go to Sunday School, I strongly encourage you to do so), and I found myself wrestling with the thought that I don’t “trust” Him as I should. When I say wrestle, I mean I was defending myself in my mind like, “Of course I trust You, Lord.” I say it all the time!! But do I do it? When He kept revisiting my thoughts with this over and over and over…I thought okay, what is the deal?? Believing in Him wasn’t hard growing up, and knowing He is who He says He is isn’t hard now. So once again, what is the deal?
Still wrestling a smidge this morning alone with Him, there was a bit of a breakthrough. The only reason not to trust someone you love is if they have failed you. Well (once again in wrestling mode), He hasn’t failed me…so what is the problem? Then I felt my heart begin to crack a little. I started remembering times that I knew that He had spoken something to me, and I acted on it. But then it felt like He had left me hanging. More than once. It was like He was reminding me of times I thought He had failed me. I still loved Him, and I probably kept saying, “I trust You, Lord.” But apparently deep within me, I felt like I had jumped off of something and had been dropped.
So I say with everything within me, I choose to trust the Lord. I know that His way is right, and that He cannot drop me. Should I ever dare to hold back from obeying Him out of fear that it may not turn out how I had hoped—may Jeremiah’s words burst from me: “His Word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.”
Lord, wherever You lead me, I will follow. And whatever You say, I will do.
Scripture to read:
Father, even if it seems You are deceiving me, I know that You cannot lie. I give You my heart, though it is easily broken. I trust You. In Jesus’ Name, I trust You. Amen.